Sunday, May 15, 2011

Thor

This movie had a lot of things going for it- Natalie Portman as the female lead, Jane; Chris Hemsworth, the hunky Australian as Thor- the ego maniacal Norse god of thunder; throw in Anthony Hopkins as Odin for good measure- I would have guessed that it was a pretty good mix... until I saw it.
This movie was a total let down- and I think I've diagnosed the needle in the arm of this 'would have been hit'. Character development- a total and utter lack of character development. I couldn't bring myself to give two rips about any of them, save for our protagonist, Loki (John Hiddleston). By the end of the movie, I found myself rooting for him- 'yeah, go Loki! Blow them all up!'
Let's start at the beginning- the movie's premise is based around the fall of the Thor to earth, because he has proven himself unworthy of his father (Odin) and the throne of Asgard. Do not pass go- do not collect two hundred dollars. He leaves behind his father and mother, younger brother Loki, and a small troop of random and unconvincing warrior buddies. Why does one of them look like Robin Hood and the other like Xena? Why is the bearded one constantly eating? Does he have a thyroid problem? We'll never know. Loki is meant to be the prankster of the gods- but is it just me or did he seem  really emo through the whole movie? He seemed more like the voice of reason than one to put a whoopee cushion under Odin's throne. Thor himself seems to have no dimension- what makes him tick? Why does he suddenly fall in love with a nerd earthdwelling astro-physicist (Portman) after one night on the roof talking about stars? What's his motivation besides smashing things? Not much.
Moving on to the earthlings... Natalie Portman- I've always held her in very high regard- I hate to see her demoted to this 'brainless smart girl' who falls on her face for the muscle bound blonde she hits with her car... twice. She makes the rest of our gender look bad. Her side kick Darcy comes up with all of the witty one liners- but they seem truly forced- I almost felt like I should be laughing out of guilt. Then there's an older guy who's assisting Portman with her research- who in an ensuing bar scene, I'm sure is going to come out of the closet an kiss Thor- but that would be too much to ask for- some kind of progression/ development.

The ending was equally disappointing, as Thor breaks one of the cardinal movie rules, and promises to return for Jane after he saves Asgard from his brother and the ice giants. She sits hopefully waiting for him to come back and sweep her off her feet- but he never does. The bi frost (rainbow bridge to earth) has been destroyed in order to save the planet from destruction. Go figure. Cut to ending scene: Thor looking down to earth watching Jane, and Jane mapping the stars trying to find Thor. Still didn't make me like either of them anymore than bellybutton lint.

Keep an eye out for the actor who played Loki- John Hiddleston- I see good things in his future; certainly in the up coming avengers movie. As for THOR- it's only redeeming qualities were the handful of scenes with Hemsworth absent his shirt- same effect could be achieved by going to a chipndales.

Side note: I think Alexander Skarsgard would have made a much more perceptive Norse god- just something for Director Kenneth Branagh to think about...

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