The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulu

In a word: ridiculous. This movie was Evil Dead meets The Hangover meets Shaun of the Dead. I wasn't sold on seeing this one- from it's caliber of cover art- I could tell it wasn't going to be a real winner. However, one of my co-workers said that it would be right up my alley- which I'm sad to say... it was. My good friend, Mandie, and I have a sacred past time of seeing really awful horror movies together and laughing the whole way through them. Past ventures include: Dead Silence, Lair of the White Worm and Human Centipede. This would have fit the bill perfectly. 

The plot of the movie was so murky and lack-luster that I couldn't honestly tell you what it's about. I do know that it's loosely based off of the writings of H.P. Lovecraft- the father of modern fantasy-horror. The two man characters are working at a squirrel gift basket company and driving around a super spiffy mini-cooper- when they are summoned by a council of elders- and are given the quest to stop this squid monster, Cthulu, from taking over the world with his cult of fish people (the deep ones). They are entrusted with this task because one of the two is the last living relative of H.P. Lovecraft and is immune to the fishy powers of the sea dwelling predators.

The writer then decides to throw in a third 'extra weird with some weird on top' guy who resembles Zach Galafianakis from the Hangover- who only gets to come on the quest because of his obscene amount of nerd knowledge and dedication to the Cthulu comic books. He mostly just sits in the back seat of the car and talks about how happy he is to be out of his grandmother's basement....

They seek out a wayward sea captain who is the only man to have ever survived an encounter with the 'deep ones'- but who is reluctant to talk about his past traumas, and will only describe it as having been fish raped. Yup. It's a winner all around.  

I won't spoil the oscar-worthy ending for you- but please note that I put this movie in the same mental vault I would if I had ever walked in on my great aunt Hilda in the shower- far far away in a deep place. I don't regret watching it- out of sheer awe for anyone who gave these guys a budget it play with.