Thor

This movie had a lot of things going for it- Natalie Portman as the female lead, Jane; Chris Hemsworth, the hunky Australian as Thor- the ego maniacal Norse god of thunder; throw in Anthony Hopkins as Odin for good measure- I would have guessed that it was a pretty good mix... until I saw it.
This movie was a total let down- and I think I've diagnosed the needle in the arm of this 'would have been hit'. Character development- a total and utter lack of character development. I couldn't bring myself to give two rips about any of them, save for our protagonist, Loki (John Hiddleston). By the end of the movie, I found myself rooting for him- 'yeah, go Loki! Blow them all up!'

Let's start at the beginning- the movie's premise is based around the fall of the Thor to earth, because he has proven himself unworthy of his father (Odin) and the throne of Asgard. Do not pass go- do not collect two hundred dollars. He leaves behind his father and mother, younger brother Loki, and a small troop of random and unconvincing warrior buddies. Why does one of them look like Robin Hood and the other like Xena? Why is the bearded one constantly eating? Does he have a thyroid problem? We'll never know. Loki is meant to be the prankster of the gods- but is it just me or did he seem  really emo through the whole movie? He seemed more like the voice of reason than one to put a whoopee cushion under Odin's throne. Thor himself seems to have no dimension- what makes him tick? Why does he suddenly fall in love with a nerd earthdwelling astro-physicist (Portman) after one night on the roof talking about stars? What's his motivation besides smashing things? Not much.
Moving on to the earthlings... Natalie Portman- I've always held her in very high regard- I hate to see her demoted to this 'brainless smart girl' who falls on her face for the muscle bound blonde she hits with her car... twice. She makes the rest of our gender look bad. Her side kick Darcy comes up with all of the witty one liners- but they seem truly forced- I almost felt like I should be laughing out of guilt. Then there's an older guy who's assisting Portman with her research- who in an ensuing bar scene, I'm sure is going to come out of the closet an kiss Thor- but that would be too much to ask for- some kind of progression/ development.

The ending was equally disappointing, as Thor breaks one of the cardinal movie rules, and promises to return for Jane after he saves Asgard from his brother and the ice giants. She sits hopefully waiting for him to come back and sweep her off her feet- but he never does. The bi frost (rainbow bridge to earth) has been destroyed in order to save the planet from destruction. Go figure. Cut to ending scene: Thor looking down to earth watching Jane, and Jane mapping the stars trying to find Thor. Still didn't make me like either of them anymore than bellybutton lint.

Keep an eye out for the actor who played Loki- John Hiddleston- I see good things in his future; certainly in the up coming avengers movie. As for THOR- it's only redeeming qualities were the handful of scenes with Hemsworth absent his shirt- same effect could be achieved by going to a chipndales.

Side note: I think Alexander Skarsgard would have made a much more perceptive Norse god- just something for Director Kenneth Branagh to think about...

Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch takes half of the up-and-coming young actresses in Hollywood- strips them down to their sequined underwear, and them straps them into heavy artillery. Yeap- that pretty much sums it up. It's part First Person Shooter, part strip club, and all a young boys fantasy... and I liked it.

Emily Browning takes point in this sexually charged, kick ass comic flick. We all remember Emily as the quiet, mentally unstable brunette from 'The Uninvited', and that same brown hair was tied into her signature ponytail in 'lemony snickett's a series of unfortunate events'. Come to think of it- every movie I've seen her in, she's been the victim... I suppose it's the helpless school girl look she has- big eyes, big lips, small frame... Bleach her hair and she's suddenly super hero material.

Add in Jena Malone (Pride & Prejudice), Abby Cornish (Bright Star), Jamie Chung (Grown Ups), Vanessa Hudgins (still cant figure out how she made it into this movie...), and Carla Gugino (who played the original Sally Jupiter in the Watchmen), give them all stripper names, like Baby Doll, Rocket and Sweet Pea, and you've got a cast that could make the pope blush. 

While the cast and effects made this movie fun to watch- I found it incredibly hard to follow. In the introduction itself, we see Baby Doll (Browning) at her home- her mother has just died, leaving her and her younger sister in the care of her sinister looking step father. He obviously has ill intent when he forces his way into B.D.'s bedroom and begins unbuttoning his shirt. When she lashes out at him, he makes his way to little sister's bedroom. BD grabs his gun and fires- only to kill the wrong person. Stepfather then has her committed to an 'insane asylum for really hot girls' . Note- that there is no speaking in the first 5-10 minutes of the film. We're left to assume everything while a wickedly awesome soundtrack blares. Also- there is a non-descript narrator talking about our life's missions and guardian angels- but honestly, she might as well have been talking about twinkies and the stock market, because really, who was listening during that sequence? It made me feel like I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Can't watch this epic scene and put the visual clues together and listen to a lady talk about... wait, what was she talking about again? Who knows. 

At the Asylum, we find that Stepfather has bribed an orderly to make sure that BD is lobotomized. She then retreats into a fantasy like state, where she's a dancer in a mob owned club, managed by the same orderly, "Blue", who is to see her lobotomized. She befriends the other dancers (patients) and they embark on a mission to break out of the 'club'. A little lost? So was I. 

This is where is starts to get really tricky. While Baby Doll dances at the club, she and the girls fall further into another level of their fantasy- they all go into leather laced fighter mode-and must complete a designated mission to find an object that will help them escape. So they go from strangely hot mental patient garb, to decidedly hot dancer costumes, to pretty freaking awesome leather hardware. Their missions vary from diffusing bombs, to fighting the Kremlin, to slaying dragons. Like I said- a school boy's fantasy. 

However dangerous these missions might seem to five girls wearing heels, it's nothing compared to their life back at the club, where Blue is determined to assert control, even if it means killing some of his prized 'toys'. I won't spoil the ending for you- because it was almost as confusing as the intro. It's kind of a WTF ending. So take it as you will. 

Things I liked about this movie: 

The whole cast, espeically Madame Gorski- (Carla Gugino) was awesome as always in her thick Russian accent (even though she's supposed to be polish). The effects were great, even though I could have gotten the same thing watching my husband play Xbox. The sound track and costumes were pretty epic- I'm sure there will be hundreds of of tween blondes dressed up as Baby Doll at this year's comic conventions.  

Things that I just didn't get: What's up with the perpetual narration- are we supposed to be pondering the meanings of the universe or watching some wicked action sequences- pick one or the other. 

The endings left me hanging, and not in a good way- it left so many unresolved issues...AND I they had too many disposable characters, that were meant to be likable, but weren't. 

In the end- this was made by boys, for boys and it just happened to be full of girls. 

The Adjustment Bureau

A classic tale- boy meets girl in men's bathroom- boy instantly falls for girl- boy is forbidden to ever see girl again by the perdurable beings that control the fate of the universe- ah. c'est la vie.
I was originally drawn to the cinema to see this film because of it's female lead. I love Emily Blunt. There, I said it. I haven't seen her in a role yet that I haven't adored her in. My favorite being  'Young Victoria'-but we'll get to that later. Matt Damon was just a bonus.

The premise of the film, is that Matt Damon's character, David Norris, is an up and coming politician- the youngest man to ever make it into congress. People wonder how it is that he's come so far and so fast- growing up an orphan in Brooklyn, it seems that he has achieved the impossible, over coming the odds to really make something of himself. It's about ten minutes into the film that we discover he is being helped along by 'the bureau'; a group of fedora wearing agents who control his fate- keeping him on track to change the world. Of course Norris and the rest of man kind is oblivious to their existence, but they are the ones who keep the world spinning- keeping humanity from destroying itself. They can freeze time- plant ideas in people's heads or erase their memories- and did I mention that they work out of a large, swanky office building in lower Manhattan? odd.



It ends up that Emily Blunt's character, Elise, was not everything I had hoped she would be. I found her very hard to relate to; a contemporary ballet dancer who meets our male lead in the men's bathroom of a hotel after she's crashed a wedding reception just for fun. Sure, she's confident and witty- likable even... but nothing I could empathize with. We, the audience, are led to believe that there is some instant and impenetrable connection between Norris and Elise, a spark that can't be extinguished. Things seem to be on track for a fiery romance, until the Adjustment Bureau intervenes.
I forgot to mention, Norris accidentally sees the bureau earlier in the film when they're changing the mind of one of his friends- of course they then explain who they are and tell him that if he ever tells anyone about them they'll wipe his brain. Easy as pie.

The day after the 'restroom trist' Norris and Elise, have a chance meeting on a city bus- this is where the fedoras com in; the bureau tells Norris that he's never allowed to see her again, and they burn the phone number which he procured earlier on- his only way of finding her. Years pass- and he rides the same bus every day, trying to find her. When he does- the bureau once again tries to pull them apart.
Here's where I had a hard time- He's after this girl for three years- that he had only met briefly- that he doesn't seem to have much in common with. He's a successful business man- he ought to have no trouble getting a date. Likewise, Elise has been engaged when we catch up with her again- and then broken it off, all out the memory of Norris- from their brief meeting. Believable? I think not. So the plot spirals from here- him chasing her- them together- he leaves to protect her- but then realizes he can't live without her- and for me Elise's ability to pickup with him again and again makes her even less real.

I won't tell you exactly what the bureau claims to be- but I can tell you that I wasn't thrilled with their explanation. It was too blunt- too simplified. It was like simplifying Chaucer into a 'fun with dick and Jane' book. On the upside- I did find them all likable, and easy to relate to- they all seemed to be genuinely sincere in their concern for the planet, and for Norris' future. This is why they forbid him to ever see Elise again- she will interfere with his future life- his success- and the success of the political offices they hope to elevate him to.
There was some good action sequences, a lot of excitement and frustration- emotionally it was pulling me every which way. It was a good film- worth seeing- and it could easily be enjoyed by a variety of movie goers. It had the action, the romance, some comedy elements. It was well rounded. This is a good group movie- see it with your friends- get their takes on the plot elements- and maybe you'll all find yourself asking the same question... What would you do for true love?

The King's Speech

I think of British film making more as a scenic train ride- you see lots of interesting sights- maybe have some good conversations with other train passengers- have a cup of tea in the beverage car. But, there really aren't any hills to climb- it's as even keeled as it gets. On the flip side, American film making- is more like a roller coaster: twists and turns, hills, danger and occasionally the guy next to you, leaning over to throw up. When I saw the King's Speech last night- the average age of movie goers in the theatre was well over 50. Definitely no risk for heart attack

'K.S' was up for 12 academy awards- and dominated the Orange British TV and film awards- so it was a must see for anyone who follows movie reviews/ critic scores. The principal characters definitely earned the surrounding hype: Colin Firth, Geoffery Rush and Helena Bonham Carter blew their roles out of the water. The story line, while an inspirational one, was a little less than I had hoped for. But I'm pretty sure you could throw those three all stars into a dark closet with a mop bucket and a box of matches and have a five star film.

The storyline follows the Duke of York (Firth) and his struggles with a life long speech impediment. Yes. That's literally the whole story in a nut shell.
Firth is endeared to his audience as a doting husband and father, as well as a struggling member of the royal family. His father, King George V, is dying. His brother, Edward has more interest in philandering with a married American socialite than ascending to the throne- which leaves the Duke, who is incapable of speaking for more than 2 seconds without a stutter- to assume power. This is in the age of radio ("wireless") - where each of the monarchs are expected to make broadcast- If you like uncomfortable silences, this should really do it for you.
It's because of these anticipated broadcasts, that the Duke's wife (Carter) seeks out the help of Lionel Louge (Rush), an unconventional speech therapist- who's personal and often awkward methodologies seem to be the Duke's only hope.
I have to say that it was refreshing seeing Carter in a role that wasn't dark and morbid (corpse bride, bellatrix lastrange, the red queen). I can say that she seemed down right human.  Rush was refreshing- witty and cool. Never letting those silences end without a sparkling gem. One thing does still bother me- he's supposed to be Australian.... where was the accent? lol.
In the end - brilliant acting makes this film a winner. Dont' expect an edge of your seat thriller- but be sure to sit back and enjoy the quiet train ride :)

Pan's Labyrinth (El laberinto del fauno)

Three things you should know about Pan's Labyrinth right off the bat:
1) It is in Spanish
2) It is bloody and has scenes of intense violence
3) It is amazing.

This dark and twisted tale takes place in fascist Spain- where a young girl, Ofelia,  learns that she is the reincarnated princess of the underworld (which is a warm and golden place- not the river Styx, eternal punishment we think of). Her earthly father has died in the war, and as a means of survival, Ofelia's mother marries a violent and abusive army officer. They move to the countryside, where the step-father is the commander of an outpost, constantly warring with the native rebels. Ofelia longs to escape into her books and fairy stories- and soon enough, she is smack in the middle of the deepest rabbit hole anyone could ever hope to escape from. However, instead of absconding from the dangerous world of war into a safe one- she finds that magical world she wants so desperately to be a part of, can be far more traitorous than anything on the surface.

I can honestly say that I've never been so excited for subtitles in my life. Even though I'm a proficient Spanish speaker, I did not want to miss a second of this raw and cutting picture- the darkest of dark fairy tales. I like to think of Director Guillermo Del Toro as the Mexican Tim Burton- his movies are often dark and tenebrous, dealing with morbid themes- but making them colorful and attractive- very hard to do indeed.

To understand his vision- you have to have a glimpse at this visionary filmographer. He grew up in Mexico, raised by a devout catholic grand mother- therefore each of his movies have some symbolism of the catholic faith; even it it's only a crucifix, rosary or a prayer- you can count on it. His father was a victim of a kidnapping, in which he was held for ransom for over two months; therefore his films often deal with the twisting dark of the underground. More often than not, his films involve subway tunnels- but in Pan's Labyrinth- it takes us into the lurid lair of a child-eating monster-or under the roots of a great tree, where a giant toad lives. He spent many years doing makeup & special effects before he dove into directing full time; and boy has it paid off. His characters are flawless.

As much as I would love to watch this movie over and over again, to find new details in the settings, new dimensions to the actors- I simply couldn't. Pan's Labyrinth takes me to a very dark place- of which I can only visit a few times a year. Please, do not watch this movie if you are looking for something uplifting and magical- for while it is spellbinding, it's morose nature can sit under your skin like a surgical implant.

The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulu

In a word: ridiculous. This movie was Evil Dead meets The Hangover meets Shaun of the Dead. I wasn't sold on seeing this one- from it's caliber of cover art- I could tell it wasn't going to be a real winner. However, one of my co-workers said that it would be right up my alley- which I'm sad to say... it was. My good friend, Mandie, and I have a sacred past time of seeing really awful horror movies together and laughing the whole way through them. Past ventures include: Dead Silence, Lair of the White Worm and Human Centipede. This would have fit the bill perfectly. 

The plot of the movie was so murky and lack-luster that I couldn't honestly tell you what it's about. I do know that it's loosely based off of the writings of H.P. Lovecraft- the father of modern fantasy-horror. The two man characters are working at a squirrel gift basket company and driving around a super spiffy mini-cooper- when they are summoned by a council of elders- and are given the quest to stop this squid monster, Cthulu, from taking over the world with his cult of fish people (the deep ones). They are entrusted with this task because one of the two is the last living relative of H.P. Lovecraft and is immune to the fishy powers of the sea dwelling predators.

The writer then decides to throw in a third 'extra weird with some weird on top' guy who resembles Zach Galafianakis from the Hangover- who only gets to come on the quest because of his obscene amount of nerd knowledge and dedication to the Cthulu comic books. He mostly just sits in the back seat of the car and talks about how happy he is to be out of his grandmother's basement....

They seek out a wayward sea captain who is the only man to have ever survived an encounter with the 'deep ones'- but who is reluctant to talk about his past traumas, and will only describe it as having been fish raped. Yup. It's a winner all around.  

I won't spoil the oscar-worthy ending for you- but please note that I put this movie in the same mental vault I would if I had ever walked in on my great aunt Hilda in the shower- far far away in a deep place. I don't regret watching it- out of sheer awe for anyone who gave these guys a budget it play with. 

Black Swan

Let me start by saying, this movie is NOT family friendly- do not see it with your mom, your sister or even your boyfriend... It is a movie that is so raw and powerful that it can't be contained in the cute little pink box that other ballet movies might fit in to. There is sex. A lot of sex- mostly our starlet, Natalie Portman, experimenting with herself- which tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable. I felt pained for all of the mother-daughters I saw in the theatre sitting together, awkwardly looking away for half of the movie. Don't let that be you. If you see this movie, see it with someone you know well, and trust just as much.
We, the audience, have grown to love Natalie Portman as the quiet, girl-next-door-turned-heroine for the past decade; starting off young, as Mathilda in The Professional, taking our breath away as Evee Hammond in V for Vendetta, and even as the valiant Padme in the recent installment of Star Wars. She's very good at making us feel for her- wanting to reach into the film and lift her out of whatever predicament she's in. We love to see her succeed.
I had not prepared myself to see 'precious Natalie' in her starring role as Nina Sayers, in Black Swan. I was sure that I had it all figured out from the previews- a movie about a struggling ballerina in New York, trying to make a name for herself- maybe throw in a little sideways romance...  Definitely not.
Nina Sayers is a fragile, and emotionally vulnerable ballerina in a New York Dance company- she is obviously dedicated to her craft and is quietly obsessed with perfection. She lives with her emotionally abusive mother, who was once a dancer as well- and who lives vicariously through her only child, refusing to allow Nina to make any decisions for herself. Nina's bedroom is like that of a 10 year old- pink bed sheets, stuffed animals and music boxes. She's like a porcelain doll, trapped in this perfect little world- unable to free herself.
The opportunity arises for Nina to audition for the role of Odette in the company's production of Swan Lake, and it doesn't seem that she will land the part; the Director (Vincent Cassell) finds her vulnerable nature appealing for the white swan, but says that, being a dual role- Nina lacks the necessary darkness to play the black swan- mentioning her meek nature and lack of sexuality. However, a series of events lands Nina the part- to the dismay of the other ballerinas in the company.
Enter stage left: Mila Kunis, playing the overtly sexual and devious Lily- a ballerina joining the company from San Francisco. Nina feels equally threatened and attracted to her- she's everything that Nina isn't, a fact of which she is keenly aware. I have to say, that I've never been fond of Mila- especially as Jackie in That 70's Show- I've always felt that she was a little one dimensional; but this role changed that. You love Lily for her charm and wit, but hate her for her manipulative ways. I dare you not to be totally intrigued by this character.
Lily sees Nina's vulnerability as an open door- she influences her to 'get out a live a little'- all the while scheming to steal Nina's role as the lead. What happens next can only be describes as controlled chaos: Nina begins to change- fracturing from her once demure self with a darker, rebellious Nina. She begins to experiment sexually, mostly with herself (a good 20 minutes worth at different parts of the movie, don't say I didn't warn you...) and with Lily. There are drugs and alcohol involved- Her once controlled world has gone to hell- she begins imagining herself hurting other people- herself- and oddly enough, she seems to begin sprouting black feathers...
The emotional turmoil surrounding the 'new Nina Sayers' leads to a psychological whirlwind that could easily lose the most seasoned of movie-watchers. You can't tell what's real or not- who's playing who- it left me guessing until the end.
The only qualm I had was with Director Darren Aronofsky's casting of the past Prima Ballerina- Beth (who was replaced by Nina Sayers). It was played by Winona Ryder. The role  meant to be that of a woman who has basically been ridden hard hard and hung up wet. She's dedicated her life to the company- only to be replaced by a younger face, simply because she's reaching her 30s. I felt that Ryder didn't have much to offer the role- she was simply the worst part of this movie.
Darren Aronofsky, is no stranger to psychological thrillers: Requiem for a dream, Pi, and the Fountain- all of which, I dare say, are a little above me. However, this movie reaches out and grabs you- spins you around until you're dizzy- then dares you to walk in a straight line. It's intense and gripping- and one that, if you dare, you should definitely see.